Tag Archives: Government

Chancellor Orders Urgent Fiscal Review

Chancellor George Osborne ponders the profit margins in selling David Laws to medical science.

Chancellor George Osborne has ordered an immediate financial review, ahead of the new Coalition Government’s first emergency Budget on 22 June.

In a memorandum sent to all Government departments, the Chancellor has urged ‘a long hard look’ to determine precisely what cuts will need to be made, and just how completely skint the country is, amidst fears that the previous Government were employing the little-known ecomonic theory of ‘fantasy accounting’ to report and calculate the UK’s economy.

In the memo, exclusively obtained by The Diary, Mr Osborne says, “we must do all we can to find any money that might be left. Check all drawers and filing cabinets, and pull out the cushions from sofas in Departmental break-out areas. Don’t forget to check under the floor-mats of Ministerial cars. There’s GOT to be some cash, somewhere. Except in the Treasury, of course.”

Rumours that all former Ministers are to be recalled to their offices, held upside down and shaken until change falls from their pockets remain unconfirmed.

The Chancellor is also to introduce a new Office of Budget Regeneration, which will be tasked with actually getting hold of what little cash is left in the UK and using it to pay down the National Debt. While full plans for cost-cutting have not yet been published, initial suggestions include the sale of all Ministerial vehicles to webuyanycar.com, and the creation of a ‘Budget Cleanup Team’ who will wash windscreens at Westminster traffic lights for spare change from drivers.

Following reports in The Times that the outgoing Labour Government pursued a ’scorched earth’ policy leaving billions of previously hidden debts, making the UK’s fiscal situation even worse than previously believed, the new OBR is also to research a new ’stocks based’ approach to Budget regeneration, whereby former Labour Ministers will be placed in pillories around the country and members of the public invited to throw eggs and rotten fruit at the profligate scumbags. Conservative estimates put the revenue from this potential stream at close to £10bn – a figure that could well be doubled if the bankrupted Electorate were permitted to throw half-bricks instead.

Stumble Upon Toolbar

Sigh. The anarchy ends and a new government is formed

Huzzar! At long last, and after much secret-squirrel negotiation, British citizens now have a government. Yep, last night it was announced that Conservative David ‘shiney-face‘ Cameron is our new Prime Minister, after he managed to forge a coalition government with the Liberal Democrats led by Nick ‘I’ve slept with no more than 50 women‘ Clegg. 
The whole situation is bloody weird to say the least. Last week as opposition leaders, David Cameron and Nick Clegg had their gloves off in the Prime Ministerial debates, but now it is all change. Get this – Cameron is obviously Prime Minister, but he has made Clegg his Deputy Prime Minster and bunged him a further four cabinet seats as an additional sweetener.
Wowsers! as they say in Scooby Doo. I didn’t see that coming. There was me thinking that Cameron would pay lip service to a coalition with Clegg; leave him as an oppostion leader, and just bung him a crate of Bollinger every time a crucial vote popped up in the House of Commons.
Anyway, my surprise at the make-up of the new government was summarised brilliantly in this video of their first joint press conference together……….. pure class.

 Vid.No.1. Oops, did I really say that?

In all the excitement of the scrum, I could be forgiven for not letting you know what happened to the hapless Gordon Brown. Not only did he step down as Prime Minister, but he resigned as Party Leader. That in itself wasn’t suprising, but his speech was.

He came across as an emotional, dignified, and normal human being.

Headline! Gordon Brown in human being shock!

Vid.No.2. Gordon Brown’s resignation speech

Nay, his speech could even be described as poignant, ending with, “And as I leave the second most important job I could ever hold, I cherish even more the first – as a husband and father. Thank you and goodbye.” Upon which he took the hands of his two young sons and left Downing Street. It was a proper political tear-jerker… and one of my friends in the village actually admitted that she cried.

Gordon, I hate to say it but you have missed a trick. I am not a fan of Labour, but yesterday you demonstrated yourself to be a fallible family man, instead of the usual dour, politics-is-everything, face-like-a-smacked-arse, miserable git. And guess what? You actually seemed quite nice and managed to reach me on a personal level….. it’s all rather ironic really considering you were on your way out. I guess the moral of the story is that people like real people, not political machines.

____________________________

The Facebook question: is privacy dead?

The other day I took the decision to delete my Facebook account.

There has been a lot about Facebook and privacy in the tech press over the past few weeks – making live chats public, the ABC bug, criminalising violations of their terms of service, etc.

Facebook has a clear habit of leaking data, and a general disdain for their user’s privacy. As we can see by the changes to their Terms of Service and default privacy settings over time this is a deliberate strategy, which makes perfect sense since Facebook’s entire business model depends on their users sharing everything.

There’s a problem here of course, because even if you delete your account or were never on Facebook to begin with, the chances are you still are on Facebook.

Crowd sourced surveillance

Facebook crowd sources its intelligence gathering by encouraging your friends to continually update it with fairly sizable amounts of information about you, even if you are not a member. The simplest example of this would be the invite system… Facebook user Alice uses the Facebook interface to invite Bob, who is outside of Facebook, to a party… innocuous at first glance, until you consider that Alice has just told Facebook (and by extension: advertisers, government agencies, application developers etc) that Alice knows Bob (expanding the social graph) and has informed them of Bobs email address.

Image tagging presents another interesting problem. Facial recognition has reached a stage where by a machine can tell whether a face belongs too the same person from picture to picture. This feature was included in the latest version of iPhoto for example, but even without facial recognition, a tagged photo provides confirmation that a group of people were together at a certain time – and with geotagging enabled – in a certain place.

Facial recogniton is on Facebook now (via a third party app – although I would imagine Facebook will be developing their own version), Google is also following similar lines of research.

Of course, the algorithm can’t know who you are…

… until someone helpfully tags you of course. At which point you can be identified in any image on Facebook and the wider internet.

Governments have access to this technology as well of course (biometric passports anyone?), and we have already seen moves to incorporate this sort of face tracking and recognition technology in the next generation of CCTV cameras allowing automated tracking of people throughout our cities.

Anyone considering wearing a mask or similar as an obvious countermeasure should take note that the wording of the “burka ban” law recently passed in Belgium… which does not specifically ban the burka, rather bans any clothing that conceals the wearers identity. French and German MEPs are pushing for similar laws throughout the EU.

… first they came for the hoodies, then they came for the Muslims…

Question of ownership

I could easily be accused of being paranoid, but all this is perfectly possible and is an extrapolation of current trends.  It also serves to underline two central problems; first, that information is collected and added about you regardless of you do, and second, that this data is not considered to be yours - leading to unintended outcomes should the people holding the data change how they use it.

So much data is collected about you through the usage of online systems. Facebook in particular has extended this intelligence gathering capability out into the wider internet with its seemingly innocuous “like” button, or by secretly installing applications (which have full access to your profile) when you visit Facebook enabled websites (decidedly less innocuous).

Each bit of information gathered is fairly harmless on its own, but when aggregated over time present an incredibly detailed picture of your life – online and offline.

This information is packaged and sold.

That this data doesn’t belong to the person its about – even if it is of a deeply personal nature – is, I think, a rather corrosive assumption. Unfortunately we see this assumption at work all over the place both in government and the private sector, and although I’ve focussed particularly on Facebook in this post, it is only one part of a much wider problem.

Question of control

Fundamentally if you don’t own your data, you can’t possibly control what is done with it. Privacy controls and the like are at best a comforting placebo.

For this reason, I am suspicious of “free” services as money must be being made somewhere, and if it is not a direct fee then where?

So how can you keep control?

This is actually a very hard problem, because the obvious solution – not using the services in the first place – increasingly handicaps you.

Facebook has made a push to become the social architecture of the web with their “like” button, which isn’t the end of the world. However, more and more sites are using Facebook, Twitter etc for logon. Linking sites around the internet together and forming a more complete picture of your online habits.

If I want to use Microsoft’s online word processor Docs.com, my only option is to sign in with Facebook. Google docs needs a google account etc..

As Twitter, Facebook and Google etc all compete to be “You” on the internet you will see this kind of thing happening more and more.

Can I live without these services? Possibly. But what if a client uses them to share a specification document, can I refuse to view it? I guess it depends on how understanding your client is.

Is privacy dead?

Privacy is important, and anyone who says that “if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear” should be encouraged to read Anne Frank’s diary.

However, we now live in a world were both online and offline we are encouraged to give away more and more of our private information. What information we don’t give away is obtained by monitoring our actions or provided by others – “Marcus was so wasted at Dave’s party last week, look here’s a picture of him passed out on the floor! LOL”

So much of this is out of your control, and what data is generated is not yours, but at the moment you still have a little wiggle room – if only because all these systems are still rather fragmented.

However, I believe that privacy is going to be one of the main societal battle grounds of the 21st century, and the first salvos have already been fired.

Privacy may not be quite dead yet, but it is certainly missing in action.

Image from ICanHasCheezburger

Digital Economy (#debill) passes, UK ceases to have one

Otto von Bismarck once said: “Laws are like sausages. It’s better not to see them being made.

To my mind, few things could have illustrated this clearer than yesterday’s vote on the Digital Economy bill, where – as the vote was finally called – the room quickly filled with MPs who had completely missed out on the debate of the last two days.

Faster than you could say “Stitch-up” or “Democratic deficit” the vote was overwhelmingly passed thanks to a reported 3 line whip and a back room deal with the Conservatives. Only the Liberal Democrats and one awesome Labour back bencher did the right thing.

It should be noted as well that the Labour back bencher in question was actively tweeting during the proceedings.

So that’s pretty much that. The bill as passed will pretty much regulate away the UK technology industry and provide a quick and cost effective mechanism to curtail free speech and governmental scrutiny, leaving only big business and a gagged population.

Someone much more cynical than me may suggest that this was the idea. Afterall, it is in both big business and government’s interest that you are unquestioning ignorant consumers – simple economic units that work, buy stuff and pay taxes.

So, with this and other laws worthy of East Germany making the UK feel less like a country and more like a cage, I and many others are left looking about for a free country to live in.

While I do that, I will just point out that Labour and the Conservatives are the same people – so please remember this when it comes to the ballot box.

The Digital Economy Bill is very bad for musicians. Don’t let it through.

That’s the subject line of an email I just sent to my MP (Andrew Smith, Labour, East Oxford) urging him not to allow the bill to be rushed through Parliament on Tuesday, when the election is likely to be announced.

The Digital Economy Bill gives government the power to cut off internet connections (from homes, schools, libraries) if they suspect anyone there of copyright infringement. That’s insane, and its only possible use is for major record labels to inflict or threaten disconnection in an effort to weigh down their trousers with as much gold as possible as they sink into the quicksand.

If you’re at all interested, go and read Ben Werdmuller’s post about the Digital Economy Bill. He makes some smart points.

Here’s the rest of the email:

Dear Andrew,

I am a musician and a web professional. I use the internet to publish my music, to share it and to sell it. I use file sharing services and sites legitimately and legally to distribute and download music that is produced and consumed outside of what the government sees as “the music industry”.

Threatening to disconnect citizens from the Internet for copyright infringement is a ham-fisted approach to regulation that benefits nobody except the major record labels and publishers, and completely ignores the subtleties of our online interactions and behaviour.

I am amazed that the Digital Economy Bill has got this far with a huge majority of both the music and the tech communities vocally disagreeing with it, and I believe that if it is allowed to be rushed through on April 6th it will strike a crippling blow to our digital society and economy which we will be unable to reverse for years to come.

This is why, as your constituent, I will not be voting for you or for your party if the Bill is passed.

People like me, who are concerned about this issue, will be looking to see who has done everything they can to make sure this Bill is not crashed through on the last day before an election.

I would very much appreciate it if you could do everything you can to raise this issue with ministers and party managers to make sure that these provisions receive proper debate and scrutiny in a new Parliament.

Ben Walker

2011 Census

On the 27th of March next year all UK households will be compelled by law to fill in a Census.

I admit that I get more worked up about this sort of thing more than most people. The arrogant presumption that we are somehow state property, the compulsion to complete it & the sheer impertinence of the questions being asked are all things that stick in my craw.

With all else that’s going on – ID cards, mass surveillance, not to mention badly written laws made to put minority interests ahead of the citizenry – it seems that the census hasn’t yet appeared on the radar of most civil liberty campaigners.

However, as with previous years the number of questions has increased (34 in 1991, 41 in 2001). This year, there will be 56 questions prying into every aspect of your life.

Ostensibly a census is about resource allocation, but if that was the case the only question the government can legitimately ask is “How many people live in your house?“.

Gender is irrelevant as this is more or less going to be an even split. Birth rate isn’t going to suddenly shoot up so there’s also need to ask about the number of children.

I’d argue that even this one question isn’t really required as any areas which have resource problems can be identified more readily (and I’d argue more accurately) by deriving the information from other sources – class sizes, waiting times at hospital etc.

Some of the questions being asked

Further details of the census can be found here.

Many of the questions being asked certainly do not have anything to do with resource allocation.

For the first time you will be compelled to disclose any other passports you may have. Also, if you’ve previously lived out of the country you will also have to say when you came into the country and for how long you intend to stay.

You will also be compelled to give the names and addresses of any guests you have staying over on the evening of the census, as well as their sex and date of birth – which has led some to call this the “Snooper’s census“.

Compulsion

You are required by law to answer these questions, and if you choose not to answer these questions – questions which in my opinion the government has no business asking – you will have committed a criminal offence and receive a stiff penalty.

Worse still, the contract for processing the data has been handed to the arms manufacturer and surveillance company Lockheed Martin, which has already raised some eyebrows.

250 words that should not be used by the public sector when providing information to the public

Produced by the Local Government Association, the list for 2010 [pdf] includes the new additions:

  • Trialogue
  • Wellderly
  • Goldfish bowl facilitated conversation
  • Tonality
  • Webinar
  • Under-capacitated
  • Clienting
  • Disbenefits

It’s good to see webinar put in its rightful place. I’d find it hard to even venture a guess about what half the words on the list are actually supposed to mean.

[via].

#debill passed back to the commons

So, it would seem that despite firm opposition by the Liberal democrats the utter abortion that is the Digital Economy bill has made it through the house of lords and has been passed back to the commons.

It is the government’s hope that MPs will not exercise their right to debate this bill further, and if the debate doesn’t happen the bill will be made law.

I can not express how bad this authoritarian and protectionist bill is or how much damage it will do to the UK economy.

It will increase the already disastrous brain drain, as well as losing any party which supports this bill the sizeable UK technical vote.

Please write to your MP now and ask that the bill is debated in full!

Image “closed” by Gill Holgate

Copyright and the Digital Economy

Yesterday there was a little bit of excitement in the digital rights world caused by an amendment to the Digital Economy bill proposed by a Tory and Liberal peer.

The justification of the amendment does make some good points – particularly about bringing any action under the control of the courts rather than just requiring the secretary of state’s say so.

As Lord Clement-Jones points out, the de-politicising of the process is important.

None of this matters of course, because the writing is on the wall for the rights industry. Unfortunately for us its clear they’re going to make a fight of it, which will likely leave us saddled with some very damaging and poorly written laws which will make it increasingly difficult to run a UK based buisiness.

The only thing that is left is to learn from the mistakes they made. Here are some harsh truths…

If your business model relies on digital things being hard to copy, it’s doomed.

The key issue here is one of basic economics. When it is just as easy to make a million copies of something than it is to make one, then the supply of that resource essentially becomes infinite and the unit price of the resource that the market is prepared to support drops to zero.

I’m not making any moral commentary here, but when something is no longer scarce it will be seen as free by the majority of people. Technical and legal restrictions put in place in an attempt to introduce scarcity artificially are going to be resented and are doomed to fail.

Theft is a meaningless concept in such a context, because how can you steal something which is infinitely available?

The only way to handle this situation is to innovate and add value somewhere else – people are still willing to pay for quality, novelty and convenience for example.

The black market is still the market.

Worse still, it is much more competitive (thanks to its lack of regulation) and responsive to consumer demand.

Lets look at Russia as an example:

In Russia, outside of the major cities, it is actually impossible to buy a legal copy of a CD or DVD – due in part to Russia’s perceived reputation on piracy creating an unwillingness for rights holders to provide their product there. There is still the demand of course, which the black market has stepped in to fill, and as a result you can go into a store on the high street and buy pirated CDs, DVDs and software just as you would buy legal copies here.

Not only does the black market provide a product where the traditional market refuses to, it actually provides a better product.

You can buy box set DVDs of films and TV series where none are normally available, entire back catalogues of an artist on a single CD in MP3 format, multiple DVD quality films on a Blueray disk and more.

Worse still for the rights holders, the price point is competitive enough to make it more attractive than downloading and certainly more attractive than importing a legal version, even after you factor in the relative earning power of the average Russian consumer.

This is similar to the current online situation – if I want to watch Caprica for example, I can either wait and hope it becomes available on DVD or shown on TV some time in the future, or I can watch it on channel Bittorrent. There is no legal way for me to get access.

Even when legal online access is provided, it’s product is often substandard when compared to the pirated version – low quality, DRM locked or with a built in expiry date. It is also, in many cases, harder to get hold of – requiring special software, registration and only offer a limited selection of products.

Which brings us to the real rub…

If the customer’s path of least resistance is not the one that gives you money, your business model is doomed.

Human nature is to follow the path of least resistance and this is something you’re not going to change, ignore this at your peril!

Do I click a button and have access to the latest episode of my favourite show in a few minutes? Or do I wait – perhaps forever – for it to be available on TV or in the stores?

Do I buy and re-buy a DRM locked version of my music for each device I own, or do I bittorrent a pirated version which will always work?

Do I go out in the rain to stand in a crowded store in order to get a single album, or do I bittorrent an artist’s entire back catalogue?

When I like some of my friends music, do I write down the name and go to the store, or do I give my friend a pen drive and get a copy right there?

Until a simple and convenient way to provide access to an equivalent or better quality product legally is available, the pirated version will always win.

So in conclusion..

As I said before I’m not making a moral statement here, and I am not calling for copyright to be abolished. Neither am I necessarily stating what should come next.

What I will say is that the current problems besetting the creative industry are not to do with the industry itself – people will always listen to music, watch films, use software and view great works of art - it is a problem with the current business models being used, combined with a lack of will to innovate.

The often bizarre legislation put forward as a solution all seem to be trying to retain the intellectual property status quo, but that isn’t to say that the concept of copyright is flawed – copyright is still a useful tool once certain realities are realised.

We should be encouraging business to embrace the new landscape and innovate, because while people are still wanting to listen to music, watch films and use software, there is still money to be made.

However, no amount of legislation will prop up a failing business model indefinitely, no matter what lobbyists will have you believe – just ask the French button makers. In a free market, business models are not something society or government should be in the business of protecting and they should be permitted to fail.

This is not the first time a technical innovation has rendered an entrenched business obsolete, and I’m sure it will not be the last.

Grandparents ‘a Threat to Children’

An evil middle-class grandparent.

Grandparents are to face new licensing, checking and contact procedures as part of new regulations on child protection, it has been announced today.

The news follows reports that children who regularly spent time with their grandparents were three times more likely to be overweight, and describes grandparents as ‘a dangerous influence’ on the growth and development of regulation children’.

Under the new rules, grandparents who wish to spend time with their grandchildren will be required to complete a three-week course in Government-Approved In-Loco-Parenting, submit to an extended CRB check and will only be allowed to associate with the offspring of their offspring in specially-sanctioned areas under CCTV and Social Services supervision.

Minister for Fucking Up Families Ed Balls said, “our evidence shows that middle-class children who spend significant time with grandparents have a 15% chance of being overweight for their age, sometimes by as much as 200g. Indications are that this is caused by their habit of occasionally allowing children to have sweets. This is tantamount to child abuse.

“All children should grow up according to Government guidelines, Government height and weight statistics, Government-recommended diets and Government education. Any deviance from this is not down to genetics, but due to the fact that parents and grandparents cannot be trusted to breed to Government standards. This must be stopped.”

The Minister pointed out that current legislation and Government education policies had largely ruled out the influence of biological parents on the raising of children. However, he added that the ‘pernicious influence’ of caring grandparents was a ‘threat to Government child-raising that could not be ignored’.

Mr Balls pointed out that the new rules on grand-parenting would only be temporary, and would be withdrawn once the concept of parenting was completely revoked with the introduction of Hatcheries and Conditioning Centres.

Aldous Huxley was unavailable for comment.

Stumble Upon Toolbar